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One of the many flaws I hear critics address when speaking negatively of a film is when they can't identify with the characters in it. I, too, struggle to enjoy a movie when I have nothing in common with these fictional people trying to win over my sympathy. Take Horrible Bosses, for example. How am I supposed to worry about Jason Bateman's financial stability when my dad buys everything for me? Or what about Avatar, for that matter? Who cares about the continuity of a species that isn't our own? We cut down the wildlife habitats of owls and chipmunks everyday! Thankfully, after a long and treacherous journey, I've found Taylor Lautner. This is a celebrity who I can finally relate to and confide in with my trust. His nasally and high-pitched line readings remind me of myself when I use baby talk to manipulate my boyfriend into getting me chocolate. They even let his character, Nathan, have an Ipad; because anyone who IS anyone has one too…like I said, stuff I can relate to. If the six weeks Heath Ledger spent at a secluded motel made his performance in the Dark Knight what it is, I guess Taylor Lautner is an even BETTER actor for the all the months he spent lifting weights.

But Taylor can't take all the credit for this movie's charm. You've also got…um…that girl from The Blind Side, who was also...uh, the hostage in Priest.

*looks up name*

Lily Collins has given me hope for the future of young talent in Hollywood. Her Blind Side co-star, Jae Head, on the other hand, seemed way too comfortable in front of the camera. Doesn't he know that this far-too-realistic and overly confident presence will never get him on the Disney channel? But I digress. Back to the original subject, Lily Collins is everything we want from a leading lady: being pretty. There are no offbeat features or inner demons about her we have to endure while action falls to the wayside. All she has to do is run when Taylor runs and act just as horny for him as he is for her. It's relieving to know that Lily just so happens to be the daughter of musician, Phil Collins. As Miley Cyrus and Jaden Smith have shown us, the most promising stars of tomorrow tend to thrive off of their parent's former glory. Had it not been for them, we'd have to endure the likes of Joseph Gordon Levitt and ugh, Emma Stone. How did these two ever manage to score roles in two of next summer's biggest superhero films? One minute they seem comedic and all-knowing and the next, they show their vulnerable sides – it's just too much to process.

I also like the story of Abduction. Eric Bana's character in Hanna was an idiot! The wilderness is the first place the government will look to find you and the superhuman teen solder you're hiding…especially after you deliberately activate a tracking device that links them to you. Maria Bello and Jason Isaac's philosophy of hiding their kid, however, was brilliant. Since flaunting their son in public school and a million dollar glass house would be the last possible thing that bad guys would suspect them of doing, I'm stilled stunned their plan of doing exactly that failed to work. And despite Abduction's role of a thriller, it still doesn't let up on allowing its characters to progress. Never mind the fact that the people who've acted as Nathan's parents for the majority of his life just died in front of his eyes and he's still being chased by the blood thirsty organization responsible for their deaths. When you're alone with a hot chick on a train, you DO her! Now that's progression!

My deepest appreciation also goes toward the actors from Harry Potter, Spider-Man and Alien for taking the back seat on this film. Sure, they were the stars of the show back then but the world spins round. How would Hugh Hefner be able move forward if he didn't keep picking younger and younger women to take advantage of? They aren't exactly in the position to do excessive par core while wearing a Pirates jersey - which looks SUPER cute on Taylor, BTW ;) Speaking of which, I know people are accusing Abduction that it wouldn't have used par core had it not been for Casino Royale but--- oh, text from Jenny. I gotta take this.

In conclusion, Abduction is the first great September release since Shark Night. I know, it's been so long! Films like The Town and Drive have made the month a notorious dumping ground of cinematic sewage...to me. Abduction, on the other hand, is a pleasant surprise with unchallenging dialogue, attractive leads and a familiar story arc. Because that's how you're supposed to feel while watching a suspense movie: SAFE!

Edit: To the 13-year old girls spending their nights clicking the "no" button underneath each negative review, thank you for further proving my point regarding your disregard of other people's opinions. As the review itself was supposed to use reverse psychology to expose the materialism and superficiality found in Taylor Lautner's fans, not only have you succeeded to show how stupid you are, but that you must have only seen seven movies in your lifetime if you think this is worth defending.